I give you a new commandment---to love one another.
Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. Everyone will
know by this that you are my disciples---if you have love for one another. –
John 13:34-35 (NET)
Most certainly, these words
represent a very familiar saying that is attributed to Jesus. Some might
insist that this statement represents the cornerstone of what it means to live
as a Christian, and it would be difficult to disagree with that
assertion. Surely, those that lay claim to a confession of Jesus as Lord
would and should have a desire to live out the prescription of these words,
thereby showing themselves to be functionaries within the community that has
oriented their lives around Jesus and His pronouncement of the kingdom of His God.
These words are reported to have fallen from the lips of
Jesus at what is generally referred to as the “Last Supper,” and the statement
is immediately bracketed by Judas’ departure for what is revealed to be the
purpose of executing his plan to betray Jesus to the Temple authorities, and
Jesus’ insistence that Peter is going to be shortly offering his own betrayal
in the form of a three-fold denial of his Lord.
So what is meant by these
words? What is implied? What will it look like when Jesus’
disciples are loving one another? Quite rightly, each person comes to
this text and these words with ideas concerning what it indeed it means to
love. Due to the fact that humans are relational creatures, formed in
community with other relational creatures, love generally comes to be defined
in relational terms---love of and for other people. For the most part, for
good or for ill, humans formulate their conceptions about love primarily
according to that which is received from parents and family (regardless of who or
what plays those roles).
The love of fathers and mothers (or lack thereof from whomever
plays those roles) readily serves to shape and define the parameters that are
placed around the concept of love. The
love of a father or a mother is generally considered to be the strongest type
of love. It is this type of love, which is largely and ideally of the
completely unconditional variety, that is simply presumed upon and taken to be
an unalterable matter-of-fact. It is
this ideal of love that most people desire to cultivate in their relationships,
regardless of the type of relationship.
The model of love that is
associated with mothers and fathers, whether it is a good model to which
should be aspired or a faulty model which might possibly need to be avoided,
lies behind the age-old adage (within societies that do not participate in arranged
marriages) that insists that women most often marry men that are like their
father, whereas men desire to marry women that remind them of their mothers
(think of the song lyrics “I want a girl just like the girl that married dear
old dad”).
For better or for worse, humans are programmed to seek out
love based on the terms of love that have been presented to them from the time
of their birth. Unsurprisingly then, it is this type of love (painting
with an overly broad brush), that people desire to offer up as part of the
experience of their relationship with the Creator God. Conversely, it comes to be believed that such
is the type of love that the Creator God desires to share with them---defining
the God of love based upon (generally) parentally constructed concepts of
love. Of course, this does not hold true one hundred percent of the
time.
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